Another Case of ‘What Does it Mean?’ with your host…me

I usually ignore the random ads that pop up on the internet, but there’s one ad I recently saw that had me pondering and questioning its validity.

It’s called myWebFace. Perhaps you’ve stumbled upon it, like an unawares jogger accidentally stepping in dog whoopsie (that’s my cute and subtle way of saying shit), perhaps you’ve never even heard of it. But let me tell you that it simply baffles me.

It claims to have the ability to show one what they’ll look like in the future. That is if everyone in the future ends up looking like a cartoon…

Image

I have three theories exploring why this may happen.

The Marvin the Martian Theory: Loony Toons develop the ability to escape from their small and silver screen prisons because of new and ridiculous 3D technology. They curse us humans for enslaving them for their own entertainment, become evil overlords and use special cartoon magic to turn humans 2D with a molecular altering ray gun…because they are very, very angry.

The Dystopian Theory: The world becomes too overpopulated. In a major government crackdown, millions of people are killed by some secret biological weapon and replaced by non-eating, non-reproducing robots with faces that are the cartoon likeness of their dead human counterparts.

The Jaded Theory: Many people in the future are so overwhelmed and sick of 3D that they cosmetically alter themselves into a 2D form, just to be different.

As these theories are completely implausible, no matter how brilliant they are, I conclude that this ‘myWebFace’ business cannot possibly show me what I will look like in the future. So, I will tell them what I will look like, I will look like me, just with more wrinkles and greyer hair. That wasn’t so difficult. I can do it all by myself. Me -1, myWebFace – 0. Represent.

PS. What’s with the dude with the Justin Timberlake N’Sync hair? Has this been around for that long?

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