Woman, just put the phone down and back away slowly…

‘Sometimes I wonder…’ is what I uttered to myself today, after I jammed a straw into an overfilled takeaway coffee milkshake and it spilled onto my skirt, only to serve that very milkshake to a nice lady, a regular customer, who asked ‘did you just spill that on yourself?’ with a playful smile. ‘…Maybe’ I answer.

Yes, sometimes I wonder about myself and my fleeting common sense. Though I do like to regard myself as reasonably intelligent, on many occasions intelligence has absolutely nothing to do with my actions. I blame general and occasional fits of airheadedness, that, and my phone. Well, I blame my phone for my most recent gaff.

Since acquiring said smart phone quite recently, as I’m the kind of person who doesn’t get rid of their old hand-me-down Nokia until its battery’s bursting and it dies whenever you answer it, I have had a penchant for snapping photos of local wildlife on my newfangled contraption. Yes, I am also the kind of person who sees a frog or a lizard and feels the need to share it on Facebook. Luckily for me my most recent photo didn’t make the irreversible journey into cyber space. I was sitting outside talking to my dad on my whiz-bang calling machine, when I see a snake on top of the dividing wall between my neighbour’s back patio and ours. After I hang up, I go over to the snake cautiously, its scales shining in the sun, still as the pleasant afternoon air, and tell it how pretty it is, getting my camera ready, squinting my eyes from the harsh setting sun. I take the picture, I look at it. I move around the snake to try to get a better angle. ‘Oh, you’re so pretty’ I say. ‘Wait a second…’ I say. That red thing poking out of the snakes mouth looks fake…wait a second. The friggin’ snake is fake! My neighbour’s kids must have put it there to scare me and I friggin’ take a picture of the thing. Stupid phone. I’m more concerned with getting a picture of the thing than actually looking at it properly.

But, seriously, I can’t blame my phone. It’s not Sony Ericsson’s fault it’s so damn addictive, with its convenient, quality photo taking abilities,  its virtual scrabble and internet connection, making it possible to have a whole universe of information available in my pocket. Curses. Must…resist…becoming…attached to an inanimate object. I swear I can sit still in a moment without having to be constantly engaged by technology. That’s my thing. I could stare out a window for an hour, merely amusing myself with my imagination. But that phone, that piece of intelligence that fits in the palm of my hand, so accessible, so awesome. I won’t be sucked in, I won’t… *eye twitch*

Well, I don’t know why I seek to publicly display my own humiliation on this blog, but I just did. So, no shame for the perpetual dimwit, it seems.

So, until my next humiliation…bonsoir.

This post was proudly brought to you by Sony Ericsson Xperia 10.

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