Nothing’s more irritating than carrying a bag of dog shit around a suburban neighbourhood on recycling day. Damn being a responsible dog owner, and also damn locks on bins. What, is someone going to steal the tasty little morsels inside? Better put a lock on the only bin close to the park, someone might actually put rubbish in it! I should just put a saddle bag on my dog so he can carry his own shit. Someone must have invented that already.
Okay, there may be a few more things that are more irritating than dog sanitation issues…and I’ll tell you what they are, or at least the things that I have experienced today.
The sheer volume of ads in any new television series premier, or the amount of ads in the last half hour of a premier movie, or just in general the gigantic pile of ads they shove into any free slot of airtime. Especially when they squish down the credits and play half screen ads. How rude. As someone who has thoroughly enjoyed seeing her name in credits on any home movie project or film course short, I tell you it is disrespectful to people’s egos. I will never forgive the first time they played ads over a particularly entertaining credit role of the Simpsons episode where Homer is coach of Bart’s football team. As far as I was concerned Homer’s voice over cutting members of the credit list was still a hilarious part of the episode and shouldn’t have been sullied with some promo for a crap Channel 10 reality show, or whatever shite they were trying to plug at the time. As Grandpa Simpson would say ‘Forrrrshhaaaamee.’
Secondly, news stories about shark attack victims where the journalists ask the survivor why he doesn’t ‘hate the shark’, or if he supports the culling of sharks. Why is this still an issue? Do we really need another survivor or survivor’s family member to say to the media ‘we don’t blame the shark, it was just doing what’s natural behaviour in its own environment’? That killing off an endangered species pivotal to the balance of the ocean’s ecosystem isn’t a good idea? Uh, dur Fred. Then they cross to a story about a human murderer. Hmm, he killed someone, why don’t you hunt him. We better cull all the humans just to be safe.
Oh, yes, and a journalist interviewing an Australian Olympian, who was right in front of her wearing a big shiny gold medal, and commenting that she had won bronze, and then going on to get her opinion on what some people were defining as a disappointing over all result for the Australian swim team, heck, the whole Olympic team over all… After about a gazillion Olympians just walked off the plane with medals around their necks. Oh, well I guess we still came in a ‘respectable’ tenth…
My … head … is … about …. to … explode. Let’s not even get into how ridiculous the Australian media coverage of the Olympic games was, I think I’ve ranted and moaned quite enough, don’t you?
And do you know what else grinds my gears…
Nah, just joshin’ ya.
WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY DID THEY CANCEL FIREFLY!?
Okay, that was the last one, I swear.
Carry on infidels.