A bit behind the times.

“I’m not up with the young person’s music” is something I find myself saying quite a bit lately. Mostly because it’s true, partly because I get a bit of a chuckle at the dazzling and witty contradiction I just made … “Ha, but you are a young person.” Yes, but I’m also a bit of a dag.

I have two reasons why I won’t pick up hitchhikers. One, because they may be psychotic and kill me, or be a sex offender, and the other reason – I may be brutally embarrassed by what CD I’m listening to in my car and can’t turn on the radio. Sorry guy in basketball jersey on the side of the road who almost looked as though they were going to step in front of my car to get a ride, but I don’t think you’d appreciate my  ‘groovy’ compilation of 70’s disco and 80’s power ballads.

I should really make a compilation entitled ‘safe, generic music that isn’t offensive to my ears, yet can be enjoyed by the majority of the population’. Not that I would be any more likely to pick up hitchhikers if I had this option on hand, you know there’s still the ‘not sure if they’re going to start pitching their idea about 7 minute abs’ scenario and turn out to be this guy …

Image

“No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody’s comin’ up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes?”

Plus, I’m far too involved singing Foreigner at the top of my lungs to contemplate picking up strangers on the side of the road. Or ‘Every Breath You Take’ by The Police, which usually goes something like this …

“Every step you take, every move you make … yada yada yada … I’ll be watching you …. blah blah blah … SINCE YOU’VE GONE I’LL BE LOST WITHOUT A TRACE, I DREAM AT NIGHT I CAN ONLY SEE YOUR FACE, I LOOK AROUND BUT IT’S YOU I CAN’T REPLACE, I FEEL SO COLD AND I LONG FOR YOUR EMBRACE, I KEEP CRYING BABY, BABY, PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE …  every single day … god, that Sting guy was a bit stalkerish, wasn’t he?”

You all know what I’m talking about … at least I hope you do, otherwise I look like a bit of a nong don’t I?

Just for good measure …

It’s definitely the most ‘rock starish’ moment, fo sho.

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