Play That Funky Music

Quote of the day: Resentment is like swallowing poison in spite of your enemies.

You see, it won’t kill your enemies, it will however make you very sick, so that you vomit everywhere … and you’ll have to clean that shit up, because I ain’t cleaning it up.

Just a thought.

Anyways, have you ever been blue? I don’t mean have you ever covered yourself in body paint and proceeded to bang on drums with colourful liquid on them, but have you ever been down? As opposed to up …  (English language, why you be so strange?) If you have ever been the holder of a sad emotion then I feel you brother … or sister. So, I would like to share three things that have made me instantly happy when I’ve had a bad case of the grumps.

Number one: When I was left, abandoned for a whole week, quite recently, I woke up from a nap on the couch at 9pm. Tired and grumpy that I had missed dinner time, also quite discontented that I had to forage for myself, I was in a bit of a stink. That was until one free to air movie strutted itself right into my night – groovy music pumping and badassness guaranteed. It was … SHAFT … you’re damn right. Spirits equaled instantly lifted. It was just something about that wakka wakka beat and Samuel L. Jackson sticking it to the man that made me smile.

Also, it reminded me of this … insert reference here … (Damn, I really thought there would be a video of Bart and Lisa Simpson singing the theme from Shaft that would be easy to find, but alas no cigar. Someone needs to rectify this immediately.)

Number Two: (By the way, writing out numbers in letters reminds me of Marge being impressed by the house numbers in the rich neighbourhood being spelt out in letters and Homer replying: ‘Get used to it, honey. From now on we’ll be spelling everything with letters’) Anyways, following the ‘Groovy music’ theme, one song on my ‘Groovy’ mix always seems to lift my mood without fail. ‘Kiss You All Over’ by Exile.

It’s pretty much the sheer ridiculousness of the real low notes in the beginning, followed by a cheesy ‘yeeeaahh’, then the not so ridiculous, but actually awesome funk-out sesh that follows.

And, also, it reminds me of this … (Yes! There is an actual video!)

Number Three: Okay, number three seems to be following a trend here, so let’s just say that hopping on a soul train down to funky town to get my groove on, makes me pretty happy. Whilst sitting in peak hour traffic on that marvellous merging of Brisbane and the Gold Coast, a situation that had the potential to cause me immeasurable grief, I was saved by the velvet sounds of Fever 105. (Last night a DJ saved my life, last night a DJ saved my life with a song…). If you have ever played GTA Vice City then you should know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, then Fever 105 is a radio station specifically created for the game, and it is the bomb. ‘Pounding headache, violent stomach upset, soaring temperature – Fever 105 is ill – You got the fever!’ ‘Get Down Saturday Night’ and ‘Ghetto Life’ had me bobbing my head around in all directions, jiving, movin’ and groovin’ – I’m lucky I didn’t run myself off the road.

Whilst Fever 105 gets my freak on, Emotion 98.3 would have to be my favourite (More emotion than your pregnant wife. Emotion 98.3). Even after all these years I still basically remember everything the DJ says. I even used to do his intros when the songs were playing on regular radio. I’m pretty sure Emotion 98.3 is a highly contributing factor to my obsession with the 80’s.

The advertisements on Vice City radio are classic as well. Like Giggle Cream – ‘It’ll make you talk reaaal low. Giggle cream, it makes desserts funny’ and especially the one for Rusty Brown’s Ring Donuts: ‘How do you enjoy your Rusty Brown’s Ring Donuts? – I like to lick lovingly around the outside, then thrust my tongue in the middle – I like to munch them vigorously – I just love the batter … all over my face – On Friday nights I can’t stop eating Rusty Brown’s Ring Donuts – Omg, they’re so good – Sometimes I like to wear women’s panties and walk around 5th St (this is where I lose my shit, because it’s just so random) When you go downtown make sure you enjoy Rusty Brown’s Ring Donuts’. Eh hem, anyways …

If you’ve never played GTA Vice City, do yourself a favour. As you may have noticed I’m a tad smitten and utterly nostolgic. In the game I used to cruise around the city in my Cheetah, of which I had many others, in all different colours, stored in every garage I owned, and just listened to the radio. I’m pretty stoked that I now have the radio stations in my real car. So, now, when I’m driving I feel like I should be busting some knee caps, or picking up a hooker … or at least shooting down some police helicopters. Badass.

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