A Trivial Encounter

You know that old saying? That you learn something new everyday. Well, I’m not sure if it is technically a ‘saying’ or just something people say. Let’s not get caught up in the details. I hate details. I hate requirements for mundane jobs that say ‘attention to detail’. What does that even mean? Apart from ‘don’t be a lazy fucker and mop that floor properly’. No ‘deets’ either, don’t even get me started.

What was I saying? Oh, look a butterfly.

You learn something new everyday, and it may not be the most obvious thing that sticks with you.

Like, I met a friendly elder gentleman on my walk the other day. He asked me if I was some girl who helped him with his car, because he wanted to thank her. Later I thought, well you’re out of luck mister if you can’t even remember what she looks like, but I’d happily take the credit for a good deed I have never committed.

I don’t want to be a cynical, bitchy youth that moans about how some old guy commandeered her walk by joining her without invite. Truth is it kind of took me by surprise, and by the end of our communion I thought about us having laughs over old war stories and cups of tea like in one of those movies where the troubled young hero or heroine finds friendship with the insightful, yet sometimes grumpy and perhaps lonely old grandpa, and they learn about life together … until someone dies, (someone always dies, it’s plot formula 101.)

Anyways he imparted a little factoid to which I responded ‘you learn something new everyday’. And he replied ‘and you’ll probably never forget it.’

No, I probably won’t forget that without flying foxes there would be no Eucalyptus trees, but I also won’t forget the unexpected little nugget that everybody hates flying foxes. I mean, that’s an interesting statistic. Everybody you say? I never knew flying foxes were that offensive. Granted, they are kind of funny looking – a fox with bat wings, who came up with that brilliant combo? Can Batman please dress up like the Fantastic Mr. Fox? Somehow I don’t think that would be as imposing.

“WHERE IS SHE!!!?? brrrughghhhghg urghghuggrhhghg”

… Aww. Fox face. Sew cewt.

Image

And please can someone take tally of how many times I can relate everything back to Batman.

…I may have tried to grope Batman at Movie World theme park once… and by grope I mean awkwardly put my arm around him and drink in the costumed manliness. Who knows who’s under there? Could be a hobo, could be a dangerous criminal fugitive, could be the Phantom of the Opera. Most probably not Christian Bale, Val Kilmer or even Michael Keaton. Yes, George Clooney might be the most attractive, yet I will never fully acknowledge that movie ever existed.

Plus I like Christian Bale better, and may have had a bizarre crush on Val Kilmer when I was eight years old after I saw The Saint – I remember telling my best friend at the time that he was a spunk. Hmm. Disturbing.

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