Last time I was left home alone I went cuckoo for coco puffs. I remember it so well and surely thought I would lose my mind once again this time around, with my mother off galavanting on a cruise ship somewhere in the South Pacific. It’s safe to say I haven’t been caught out talking rampantly to myself so much this time, which is an improvement I suppose. I’m not sure. It depends if talking to your cat is a step above talking to yourself on the crazy scale or below. I’d put my money on below, because at least a cat has a different personality and is outside of your own head.
Yet again, every time I find myself enjoying the company of my kitten I can only think of this…
At least I only have one.
But, believe me, if I had the money, I’d probably want to bring home the whole goddamn pet shelter. Before I got little Smudge, my white and grey tabby, I’d just stand in front of the cages, cooing, at all of them. ‘Oh, you’re a sweetheart. Aren’t you a sweetheart? Aww, you too, and you and you and you…but not you…nah I’m kidding. How could I not love ALL OF YOU! I’ll save you all, and we’ll all frolic around the farm and meadows together!’
Then the shop owner would be all like ‘you’re still here?’
…Holy crap, do I ever need a boyfriend.
And yet my efforts are bordering on non-existant.
It doesn’t help that Smudge gives the best cuddles ever! And I can survive for awhile off just one whiff of the blue-eyed silver fox who came to fix the coffee grinder today. Reow.
Just subtly drink in the manliness. Ah, yep, that’ll last me.
Is that weird?
When I was eighteen these rather unsightly, middle aged removalists came to our house, and I mean they were not pretty, not one little bit, but my god did they ever smell amazing. It was like pheromones gone wild. ‘What is this scent? I don’t understand! You’re so unattractive, yet I want to be near you…’
Okay, I’m starting to hear myself now, and perhaps this whole being alone thing is affecting me more than I thought.
Woman, put on some perfume, and get out of the goddamn house.
(And I promise, this will be the last post about my cat… but I dunno, there could be more in there. I can never be certain. Okay, probably more like my 3rd last…)