Some movies have the ability to absolutely kick the crap out of you. They can send you spiraling down into the dark depths of depression, and make you sob like a little girl crying for her mummy.
I cry at sad movies. I’m a crier. When I’m traumatised by a dramatic event, carefully constructed to yank at my heart strings, I don’t keep those salty beads of emotion trapped inside like a tragic prisoner of war in the battle against public embarrassment. I let them flow until my eyes are red and puffy and my nose is running like a leaky faucet.
It is terribly unattractive. But on occasion my patheticness has worked in my favour.
Which brings me to my Sad Movie Moment Numero Uno:
I was five years old. We were watching The Lion King in preschool and I had secured myself a spot on the hard, carpeted floor. I don’t remember everything about that movie watching experience, but I do remember losing my shit at sad movie moment no. 1.
Holy crap. What a scene. The music, the self sacrifice, the betrayal, the guilt, the exile. For anyone who has seen The Lion King (and who hasn’t?), I needn’t say more. Consequently I did ball my eyes out, yet on the flip side, the teachers felt so sorry for me that they kicked out some poor kid out of the bean bag and gave me prime seating. Score.
Sad Movie Moment Numero Dos:
Keeping in the vein of Disney’s ability to make you care exorbitantly for drawn animals on a screen, we come to a touching moment in their animated classic Dumbo.
So, mumma elephant is locked away after a sudden outburst, brought on by an intense desire to protect her son. Dumbo is effectively torn from his kin and the one that loves him most. In moment no. 2, we have mumma elephant’s trunk holding her baby through the bars of her prison, swaying him back and forth, comforting him, showing him that she loves him no matter what he looks like, or how different he is, all the while the heart tugging song of ‘Baby Mine’ plays in the background.
Again, holy crap. I feel a little misty just thinking about it. Play this clip at your own expense.
Sad Movie Moment Numero Tres:
When I was eight years old, my mother actually banned me from watching this movie because it made me constantly depressed and prone to cry at the drop of a hat, even when I wasn’t even playing the damned thing.
Perhaps I was just an overly emotional child. Maybe it was the strange water table under our house that messed with my energy field, like some sort of ancient indian burial ground. But my god, I have never been so affected by a movie as I was by The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride.
I know what you’re thinking. How could it possibly stack up to the original in emotional stirring? For one the music, for two (is that even proper grammar?) the tragic, star crossed love story, for three (yeah, it sounds kinda funny) the misunderstood betrayal, for four the intense battle scene at the end where daughter uses her father’s wise words against him to make him realise how wrong he’s been. AND THE CIRCLE OF LIFE CONTINUES.
“Look at them, they are us. What differences do you see?”
Gets me every freaking time. Waaaaahhhhhhh.
Sad Movie Moment Numero Cuatro:
Revenge of the Sith. George Lucas kills off every single Jedi in one single scene, set to the heart wrenching tones of John Williams beautiful and haunting score blasting at you from all angles, and seeping into your soul with chair rattling bass.
Oh yeah, and Anakin kills younglings, stares woefully out the window, juxtaposed with an equally distressed Padme, destroys everything he’s ever loved in a tragic string of events, and gets chopped to pieces by his best friend.
…And I saw it twice in cinema. Oh, the humanity.
Sad Movie Moment Numero Cinco:
Peter Jackson’s King Kong.
Damn you humans. He’s not a monster! You just don’t understand him. He’s really got a kind and gentle soul. It was you, putting him in chains, that made him act out. You brought this on yourselves and now you’re killing him when it was your own stupid fault!
I went to the ladies room after seeing that movie in cinemas. I swear people were looking at me like my boyfriend had just broken up with me, or someone had died.
Ah, my poor brother having to sit with me while we had lunch, my face all puffy and tear stained.
He didn’t do this to me I swear, strange onlookers, it was that goddamn movie!
Sad Movie Moment Numero Seis, Siete, Ocho:
Alright there are just too many sad movie moments to warrant their own singular recounting. So I’m just going to bunch these together.
The moment in The Notebook when the old-lady Ally remembers that it was their story all along. (Now, I don’t have any senile grandparents, or loved ones, but I can imagine how heart breaking it must be for someone you love so dearly to not remember you).
The whole third act of A Walk to Remember. Let’s just say I was mighty grateful that my two male roommates weren’t home to witness the god awful mess I turned into.
And the third act of Beaches. If watching someone reconcile with their best, closest friend, only for them to deal with their slow wasting away from some incurable disease isn’t enough, just when you’ve balled your eyes out, and can’t take no more, Bette Midler breaks out in Wind Beneath My freaking Wings. I tells ya, it couldn’t have been any crueler.
Well, this has turned out to be a very long list. And I’ve forgotten to include Moulin Rouge, which manages to destroy me every time … oh and even the end song from The Wedding Singer. So … freaking … sweet. He’s going to stay with her until she’s grey and old! He’s even going to let her hold the remote control. My god, you’re killing me.
Just look at Julia’s aka Drew Barrymore’s reaction when she realises it’s Robbie aka Adam Sandler on the plane.
Somebody stop me.
Luckily my knowledge of Spanish counting ended about three numbers ago…